Quilt for Aunt Jan

Here is a preview of the Quilt that I am making for my Aunt Jan. I am calling it Circle of Love. I will post more pictures as it gets closer to being done.

Grandpa's Quilt

After I made a quilt for Grandma, Grandpa Linder has stated that he wanted a quilt. Only request was that it not be too "girly". Took some time hunting for just the right material! Finally found some that was a fishing theme...while I personally love to fish, the material is aimed more towards the man so it worked perfect. Here it is! Grandpa loved it!

Markel Old Mill Dam

Went to Terre Haute this weekend and went by the Old Mill Dam before heading home. I had to take some pictures because the creek was at it's most beautiful! I used to just love playing here when I was a kid! Walking across the dam (ok..that was stupid, but fun!), fishing and swimming right under the dam...and playing on the railroad tracks! I think some of my best childhood memories were right here!!

Got my first kiss under those tracks!

Beatiful!

Going on Vacation soon!

We are all very excited! We are going to Orlando in April. Taking the boys to Disney World! Devin will be 18 in April and so we wont have many more family vacations so we wanted to do it big! Going to be there for a week. After the nasty winter we have had, I really cannot wait to get to sunny florida. Another benefit is that I will get to see cousin Steph and one of my best friends Lynn while we are there!! Orlando won't know what hit em!! LOL Girls night out!! Woohooo!!

Memories for Mamma

I made this quilt for my mother-in-law. She is more of a mother to me than my own mother has ever been and I love her dearly! This quilt has pictures of all her kids and grandkids. I was so happy to make this for her! She loved it!

Lap Quilt for me!

On those rare occasions when I just sit down to relax, I wanted to have my very own quilt to cuddle with! Notice the flowers...Thats so Jim won't steal it!! :)

Christmas Quilts

This is Grandma Linders quilt. Of course now I have to make one for Grandpa! I almost have his done.

This is Rayanne's quilt!

This is the quilt that I made for Keirsten. She is a very special little girl! Love that girl like my own!

My new purse

The first picture is the first purse that I made. And then my neighbor liked it so much that she wanted one so the second picture is of hers. I also had some scraps left so I made a couple little purses for her girls.

Baby Quilt for Jamie

So one of my dear friends at work is going to have a baby! Here is the quilt that I made for little one!

My Wall Quilt

This is the wall quilt that I made. I just love this! Looks really nice in the breezeway!

My Chickens

My babies are getting so big! They should start laying at anytime now! That is unless they want to be chicken soup!!

My Quilts

So, I have started a new passion! I have always wanted to learn how to quilt but noone ever taught me. Everytime I look at the quilt that my Grandma made me, it makes me think of her and how much she loved me. I want to be able to leave that kind of legacy with my friends and family. So off to the internet I went!! There are so many wonderful resources out there that teach you things!! I couldn't believe how easy it was to learn techniques just by using the internet!! Of course my favorites are from the wonderful ladies at Missouri Star Quilts! Talk about some awesome tutorials!! And they have some wonderful daily deals too!! I'm going to post some pictures real soon!

This past year

I have been so busy this past year and have not kept up on my blog! I know..I'm horrible! Oh well!!

Anyway, so much has happended this year. I have been lucky enough to get back in touch with some of my family! Missed out on so much over the years! Was lucky enough to be able to see my grandpa again before he died. Had not seen him in about 18 years! He passed away shortly after that but I was grateful that I got to see him again!

I have been able to get to know my cousins again! Amanda, Chris, Curt, Owen and Paul! You are all wonderful! Even if a few of you do pick on me!! Somethings never change!! LOL

My First Quilt

I made my first quilt! I made it for Nick's bed. I think it turned out ok. Was really hard once the back was put on it because it's a lot harder to move it around in my little sewing arae! Nick really likes it. Making lap quilts for my girls for Christmas! Can't wait!

Buster!!

My sweet puppy is getting so big! He really loves his Barney! Some may think he loves him a little too much!!

Well, life is good! Summer is going pretty good all things considered! Bob is still doing ok. He found out that he has 28% of his heart functioning and 48% of his kidneys working. He is hanging in there though and he is doing what the doctors tell him. Thats really all I can ask of him!

Got home from work last night to find that Uncle Bob had brought over a present for his boys!! They were having a blast! Not sure who was having the most fun! The boys or Bob! I even took a turn! It was pretty fun!! Now all Nick can talk about is going to the store so he can get some paint! He wants to "Pimp out the GoCart"!! Boys and their toys! I tell ya!!! LOL

Bob is still doing ok. Just taking it one day at a time. Taking Nick to get his schedule for football tonight. I am going to just LOVE watching that boy play! He is soooo looking forward to it! He said "Mom, I want to tackle someone!" LOL....can't wait to see it!

It's a miracle

What amazing news! There is a chance that they are going to release Bob from the hospital today! Less than a week ago, he was dead! The doctors cannot explain how or why he has recovered so quickly and so well! It only means one thing...all those prayers worked! It really makes me stop and put things into perspective! I can't stop smiling! I wake up happy every morning! Happy to be alive...looking forward to talking with my brother! This whole ordeal has reshaped my way of thinking!

Rough 2010

Well, it has been a rough year. I have not posted anything in a very long time. Lost a couple of our best friends. For some reason they chose to believe the lies of a crazy woman who would'nt know the truth if it bit her on the nose. Was very confusing and really hurt but I have moved on and came to realize that they were obviously lieing to us as much as she was for a long time. Just irritates me how people can claim you are "like their brother & sister" one day and then pretend they don't know you the next. Oh well....life goes on!

Then in June...the Wildcat creek flooded for the first time in 100 years. The first floor of our house was flooded! Talk about a nightmare! Had to tear out all the flooring and we are still trying to get that awful smell out of the house. I will post pictures later. Here it is July and we are still trying to get everything cleaned up. Lost most of my garden in the flood too so that sucks!

Also in June (and this is good news!), my long time friend Lynn came to visit from Florida. I miss her so much. I had not seen her in almost 17 years!! But as soon as I saw her, it seemed like we had never missed a day. I loved spending time with her and her boys. Travis is now labeled "the good son" because he is so quiet and laid back. Andy is definitly the one who took after his mother! LOL..whew..talk about a firecracker! That boy really had me laughing. I really enjoyed spending time with both of them and my boys also loved meeting them and spending time with all of them. I hope it's not another 17 years before we see each other again! Miss them already!

While a couple of the things I have told you are bad enough....something much worse happened over this past weekend. While it was very traumatic, it has also made me realize that the previous two stories are not important. They are petty...friends come and go and houses can be replaced. My brother cannot!

On 7/2/10, Bob went to the hospital because his legs and arms felt heavy. They said that his potassium was critically high (7) and that they were going to admit him for overnight so that they could get his potassium levels under control. When I left the hospital friday evening, he was fine.
I got back to the hospital about 10:30 Saturday morning, thinking that I was taking him home. He was sleeping when I got there and so I was just standing by his bed waiting for him to wake up. About 11am, he woke up, looked at me and smiled. Right at that moment, the nurse came running in the room and asked him if he was ok. He looked at her and said "ya, I'm fine". She said your heart monitor is going crazy out here. Right at that moment, his eyes rolled back into his head and he went into cardiac arrest. The called a Code Blue and ended up having to shock him 3 times before his heart started beating again. They put him on life support and he was sedated at that time. The doctors told me that because of the length of time he was not breathing, he may have brain damage. They were moving him to ICU at that time.
1 1/2 hours later...Bob is now in ICU. The nurse is hooking up all kinds of medications to his I.V when we both noticed that his heart beat was suddenly going very irratic. Just like that...cardiac arrest again. Second Code Blue within an hour and half! The shocked him again. The doctor explained to me later that they normally shock a patient 3 times and if there is no response..they call the time of death. The doctor stated that after 3 shocks..there was no response and he was ready to call it when Bob suddenly sat straight up in bed and looked him in the eye. The doctor swears that Bob was clinically dead and has no explanation as to why this happened but he made the decision to continue CPR...they shocked him 2 more times. After the 5th shock..Bob's heart started beating.

The doctor sat with me later explaining all of this. He also told me that there was a good chance of brain damage but he didn't know the extent of it yet. He stated that he didn't believe Bob would make it through the night and suggested that I stay as long as possible and be with him. Like I was leaving anyway!!

Today (4 days after he died twice), Bob is sitting up in bed and telling me what to do again! The doctors are shocked. They don't understand how he has survived and made such an astounding recovery. If you could see my brother today, you would think I was lying about what happened! He has a punctured lung, 3 broken ribs, a VERY bruised chest and only 28% of his heart is functioing but he is alive!! He has a long recovery ahead of him but he is a fighter.

All of this has really made me stop and realize what is important in life. I used to get so frustrated with Bob because he is soooo damn stubborn! But now I thank god that he is stubborn! His attitude is...how dare they tell him he won't make it! I love my brother and I am not ready to loose him. I am so grateful that he is a fighter and we have been given another chance to spend more time together. No matter how much, or how little, time we have left together, I plan on making it count. We will not take this time for granted!

Whew...thats a long post! I have been really bad about keeping up with my blog but everytime I posted something people would turn it around that I was talking about them! Blah blah blah...don't care anymore. Like I said....petty shit doesn't matter anymore! So anyway, I am going to try to do better so that I can keep everything documented. iw ant to remember all the good times and have it last forever.

Halloween Party 2009

Everyone got together for the 3rd Annual Ray Halloween Bash last night. There were a lot of really cool costumes this year. Some of the characters in attendence were:

• Little Red Riding Hood & The Big Bad Wolf (Jon & Pam)





• 2-Poc (Clint)





• 80's chic (Amanda)





• S.W.A.T. man and his prisoner (me & Jim)

That is only naming a few..there were many more really cool costumes I just cant remember them all!!

What a week!

Well Bob has his angiogram yesterday. His left artery is 100% blocked, his right artery is 100% block and another artery is 33% blocked. They cannot put in stints because it would be like putting a size 9 foot into a size 6 shoe and it would blow out his arteries. They cannot do a bypass because they don't feel that it would do any good for him. And to top it off, the dye that they used for the angiogram screwed his kidneys up more than they already are. So, for now, all they can do is medicate him and try to prolong his life. Doctor stated that he is a prime candidate for a massive heart attack or stroke and he will probably not survive either. So, he has stated to me that he does NOT want to be placed on life support if something like that were to happen. Because I know that mom will fight me on that, Bob and I are in the process of preparing his living will so that he will have his wishes.

On a better note, went to the covered bridge festival with Jim, Jon and Pam this weekend. Had a great time. Jim, Jon and Pam went for a helicopter ride which they really enjoyed. No way was I getting in that death trap! I had plenty of fun on the ground!!

I also joined a gym this weekend! I decided to go with International Sports Club because they give you a free personal trainer with your membership and I really wanted that option. Boy he really busted my tail tonight! I will be lucky if I am able to walk tomorrow! He kept saying "if there is no burn, there is no earn!". Punk better be right or I plan to punch his skinny ass right in the face!

Went for my weigh-in tonight! Lost another 2.8lbs this week!

Been a VERY busy hectic week!! Hope this upcoming week is slower and Bob gets better! Thanks to all my friends who have offered their suport in this very trying and emotional time! And thanks to my friends who have pushed me to succeed and have encouraged me in my weight loss efforts! It really helps!

Decisions...decisions

I am trying to decide if I want to go to Newtone or International....I am thinking Newtone because they are not as busy as International but I am thinking International because they are bigger and have more. aaaaggghhhhh....what to do!!

Week 6

Yesterday was my weigh-in day. Alot of this past week has been spent at the hospital with my brother and then of course Saturday was a big night at the bar, and then mother nature decided to come for a visit so eating right was not exactly on my mind. I went to the weigh-in last night fully expecting to have either gained or stayed the same. Imagine my surprise when she said I lost! It was only .8 lbs, but anything is better than nothing.

Bob is home from the hospital now. The doctors are treating him for the bleeding and once that is healed up, he will be having his heart cath...right now they are saying 10/12 is the big day. He is coming out to my house tonight, he is still not feeling well and has zero energy. Doc says that with his heart as damaged as it is, he will not be able to do much and wont have very much energy or stamina. Gonna feed him and spend some time with him. Be glad when this is all over and he is doing better. Scares me to see him cause he seems so old!

Week 5

Well...Lost another 1.2 lbs this week. May not seem like a lot but every little bit helps. Starting this week (if I can find the measuring tape), I am going to start tracking my measurements as well. That way I can see what I am loosing in inches. Very happy for myself!!

Week 4

I didn't post anything for week 3...Week 3 was a really bad week for me seeing as how it was the anniversary of my sisters death and there were some horrible misunderstandings with some wonderful friends. I love you two alot and I am deeply sorry that anything happened. I hope you know that I would never intentionally do anything that hurt you.

Week 4 has been wonderful! I lost another 2 lbs this week and I feel great! I am fitting into some clothes that I have been unable to wear and the clothes I have been wearing are very loose on me! It's a great feeling and I am looking forward to loosing more.

Week 2

Ok..so this week kinda sucks! I only lost .6 lbs! I know that its good that I still lost but my pants feel like they are falling off and I had such high hopes and then to find out thats all I lost was disappointing. The problem is, I am not eating enough. It is time to go fix dinner and I am not hungry but I still need to eat 15 more points today. Oh what to do!! Guess I will figure something out.

Week 1 has come to an end!

Today marked the end of week one and I am happy to report that I lost 2.6 lbs this week!! Woohooooo!!!!

My mother..My Pain

Ok..so like I said in previous post, I am using this blog as a sounding wall. I think the only way that I can talk this out is if I write it here. Hard to talk to most people because they don't understand.

Mom has started up with her letters again. She said that she doesn't understand why I never come around when she never does anything but try to be a good mother to me. She said that she doesn't understand why I have to be so hateful and say horrible things about her to her grandkids. She said that I am always quick to forgive my dad for everything that he done but that I never can forgive her. So I responded back..told her that I don't come around because I am tired of having her constantly remind me about the things that dad done. Told her that what I say to my kids is my business and she has no right to tell me what I can talk about with them and what I can't. She accused me of saying all kinds of things that I have never said. She sees things in her own screwed up mind and to her, there is no other way. I told her that she needs to start taking her medicine again and she went off the deep end. Said that I wont be happy unless she is asleep all the time because thats what the medicine does to her.

I tried to talk to her last night..told her that I don't know what else to do or say to her. Asked her to please just stop because I can't take anymore. When I left her last night, everything seemed to be ok. She called me this morning and told me there were some papers at the house that she needed me to take care of. She wanted me to come over on my lunch to get them (while she was at work). Well, I decided to go by this morning instead and much to my surprise (sarcasm) there was a letter waiting for me. Telling me once again what a horrible person that I am and how I treat her so badly. She was there and and didnt see me ready the letter, she assumed that I wouldn't get it until we were not together. There she was in the bathroom talling thru the door to me like everything was just wonderful. So I walked out of the house and was getting on my bike when she came outside and said "leaving already?" and then she saw the letter in my hand and started crying and once again it was all about the pitty party. I told her I was leaving and when she decides to grow up and take her medicine she could call me. And I left.

I have decided at this time that I will NOT respond anymore. I will pay her bills and send her the cash thats left over and she can have Bob or someone take her to the store. I am sooo tired of dealing with all the drama. My whole day has been ruined! Why does she have to do this? I cannot deal with work and her drama all at the same time. I honestly feel like I am loosing my mind. If this doesn't end soon, I fear that I will be the one on meds cause I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown. But what else can I do? I just need to be done with her once and for all but it really hurts because she is my mom. But I think the biggest pain of all comes from knowing that I don't really have a mom. Thanks Blog for listening!

Almost made it a week

Tomorrow is the big day! I will go tomorrow to see if I lost any weight this week. Since mother nature decided to screw with me this week I will not be surprised if I didn't loose any! However, on a positive note, I did stick with it all week and so I know I should have lost something. If it doesn't show up this week due to the bloating and other bulshit that mother nature threw in my face, it should definitly show up next week! Guess I will see after work tomorrow!!

My little Buddy!

Not so little anymore! Way to hard to hold him on my lap now!

well..colored my hair today. Nothing to drastic, just enough to color the "silver" strands since it's not Christmas yet!! haha!!

Went to Ethans B-day party yesterday. Enjoyed watching him get so excited over his gifts. Didn't really enjoy anything else except for being around friends but it was because I was hurting and not because of anything else. Wish I could have had a better time. I thought cyst were supposed to STOP hurting when you had your monthly cycle instead of hurting more! Good thing I only have one of these once every 4-6 months or so!! If I was normal and had to deal with this every month, I don't think I could handle it!

Unfortunately it's back to work tomorrow! I another week, another $ I guess!

Day 4

Well, I made it thru another day without hurting anyone! Today was definitly a challende though! Got a letter from my mother...we live in the same town and she calls me whenever she "needs" something, so I always know that if she sends me a letter...its not good. So this time she is trying to guilt me about Julie again. The anniversary of her death is coming up (9/9), like I need HER to remind me that my sister is dead! She has made it abundantly clear that her favorite daughter is dead and yet she still finds a way to remind me of it every year! Always trying to put the guilt trip on me for not taking her to the cemetary. Well, I dont want to drive all the way to Terre Haute just to watch her pretend like she is a good mother when the only one watching is my dead sister. So tired of the drama!! Not going to do it this year! She will have to find herself another ride! Ever heard of the Greyhound Mom???!!!

Day 3

Today is day 3 of meeting goal #1...I am feeling kinda "blah" today. I have cut out my diet cokes and this is my 3rd day without one. I think I am having withdrawal! I may have to cave and have one but I will try to make it!

As for the food part...I am sticking with the plan and do not have any hunger pains or cravings at this time. I will have a "weight in" next Tuesday to see of I am loosing any weight.

The New Improved me

So I have not been real good about keeping up with my blog but I am going to try to do better. I have set some goals for myself and I think that I am going to post my progress, failures, aggravations and etc.... Kind of my online diary so to speak.

I figured not very many people actually read my blog anymore anyway and so this will kind of be my diary where I can say whatever I want and try to keep myself on track so bear with me. One thing that I would like to say to all my friends that do read this...please feel free to leave comments but please do not take anything that I say personally. Those that I refer to, know who they are and do not read the blog anyway. This will just be my venting corner!! So here we go....

My Goals:

1. Loose 50 lbs before my next birthday. That is in April 2010 and so I have figured that I need to loose 1.47 lbs a week. Seems pretty doable.
2. Quit smoking--this one is going to be waaay harder than loosing weight and so I have decided not to try doing them both at the same time until I have the weight thing under control. I know that if I stress myself out to much over one..I will fail at the other.
3. Stop letting my mother control my emotions and the way that I feel about myself. Too many times, I allow her comments to affect the way that I feel about who I am. NO MORE
4. Learn to accept the fact that I am my best friend and that I may never have a group of friends that are 100% there for me. While I have other friends..they are not always looking out for my best interest and so I need to stop thinking that they will always be around because it's too obvious that they will not always be there.
5. Learn to work towards MY goals instead of others goals. I am always trying to do things to help others and they then: (a) Don't appreciate it,or (b) take advatage of it....need to be looking out for myself more. I am not getting any younger and I need to make sure I am happy for myself.

This is what happens when the little kids fall asleep and the parents get bored!

You have to watch this! It's a classic example of what the grownups do when the little ones fall asleep! You should have seen Nick and Ethans face when they came out and seen what the grownups were doing! I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!!

Two Sweet Boys...And they act so tuff!!

Good thing we got the pictures because they will certainly deny that this ever happened!

They act like they are firefighters, police, superheros and warriors but deep down they are just sweet little boys! They look so cute!

Chickens are enjoying the Sunshine!
Sassy is stalking the hens and the other poor rooster is so confused that he thinks he is a pelican!

I dont think the chickens are at all intimidated by the cats!

My Babies!!

Here are my baby duckies! So cute!

Chickens are great!

This just goes to show you that you should pick your friends for who they are and not for WHAT they are! Friends come in many sizes, shapes, and colors! am so grateful for the frineds that I have. I love you guys!!!

Vacation

Ok...so Jim gave me three choices for a vacation. (1) Las vegas (2) A cruise (3) Bahammas...here is my delima...I am terrified of water and and I don't like planes! So it is really hard to choose which one of these big fears I am gonna have to conquer! Thats why I need your help! I want all my bestest :) friends to tell me where to go (be nice!) because I cannot choose!!

George of the Jungle

Doesn't he look so cute and innocent? Don't let him fool you! He is one crazy feline! If I don't get up early enough to suite him, he will climb on me and smack me on the eye lids to wake me up! And don't think I can just cover my head up because he will tear the blanket off of me. And once he has me awake....its not food he is wanting! No!! He just wants his cuddle time! Crazy Cat!!! And he loves to hide behind a chair or around a corner and wait for Nicholas to walk by! Yep...you guessed it!! George of the Jungle comes flying out and attacks!! He is definitly a form of entertainment around here!

Christmas 2009

We got a Wii for Christmas this year! What a blast!! Jim actually threw his back out because he got into playing tennis! As you can see...we even got Nanna to play on Christmas day! Now she wants one too. Papaw played too but I think he would prefer to watch!

Christmas 2009

Devin got a new stereo for his truck! He is very happy about that since the one that is in the truck is just an AM/FM Cassette player! This one is a CD player and has a hook up for his ipod which makes him very happy!

Now if he can talk one of his dads or uncles into helping him put it in...(hint hint Jim, Clint, and Jon and Mark!!)

:)

Christmas 2009

Finally Christmas has arrived! I think Nick asked to open a present everyday since Thanksgiving! If I let that boy have a present everytime he asked he would have nothing for Christmas morning!